Dear Deanna!
My marriage is in shambles because my husband is a slob. I’m stressed because I find myself cleaning the house 3 or 4 times a day and I never know what I’ll get when I walk in the door. We argue about this on a regular basis because he refuses to change. Once, I didn’t clean and his dirty underwear stayed in the same spot for a week. His hygiene is bad as well and we’re not intimate. How can I get him to choose his marriage before it’s too late and I leave him?
Joyce (Dallas, TX)
Dear Joyce:
It’s amazing you were so in love with Pig Pen that you didn’t smell or see any of this coming. You need to realize he has always been a slob, this is who you married and he’s comfortable. The next time you clean, toss everything in the garbage including clothes, personal items and dishes and let him know that you’re tired and have a new cleaning method. Make it clear that from this point forward everything out of place has a new place called the garbage and keep it moving.
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Dear Deanna!
My mother is being taken advantage of by her best friend. My mother is retired has plenty of money saved up and she’s enjoying the finer things in life. Her best friend is a moocher and makes my mom pay for everything. My mother is lonely and doesn’t have any friends so she thinks nothing of it. This woman is going through her money left and right and I know she’s going to look up and one day be broke. How do I get through to her?
Concerned Daughter (Oklahoma City, OK)
Ask Deanna! Weekly Words of Wisdom!
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Dear Concerned Daughter:
Your mother is enjoying life and her friend. Before you place judgment or get in the middle of things ask your mom if she’s preparing for a rainy day. If she is, you can rest assured that she knows what she’s doing and is planning her finances wisely. You’re on the outside looking in and have no idea of their friendship. You can calm down and chill and let you mom and her girlfriend do their thing and feel secure knowing that if she needs you, she’ll let you know.
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Dear Deanna!
For the first time in my life, I am happy with a man I feel is my soul mate. He is everything I imagined and I can even live with his flaws and shortcomings. I love him dearly but he is overly critical and is very hard on me. When I make mistakes he treats me like a child. He talks about my hair, my make-up and the way I eat. He is a great guy and I know he means well. How do I let him know how this makes me feel without jeopardizing the relationship?
Maria (Charleston, SC)
Dear Maria:
You’re a star struck groupie in this relationship. As soon as he gets tired, he’ll drop you like a hot coal and move on to another woman. If he sincerely cared there wouldn’t be any feelings of disrespect, ridicule or one-sided criticism. You need to take the risk and tell him how you feel and that you won’t tolerate his treatment. If he’s willing to heed your advice that’s a good thing. If he turns out to be a pig then realize he doesn’t give a damn and keep it moving.
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